That Awkward Moment When
by Lady Blade WarAngel
Summary: Everyone has an awkward moment at some point in their lives. These are the awkward moments of the people of Camelot. Sorta Crack.
1. Elyan Realises Gwen Has Kissed Everyone!

Okay everyone, I hope you all like this fic. It's just random funny sorta-crack. LOL!

SUMMARY: Everyone has an awkward moment at some point in their lives. These are the awkward moments of the people of Camelot. Sorta Crack.

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That Awkward Moment When...

Elyan Realises Gwen's Kissed Everyone.

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Elyan was cheerfully strolling towards the courtyard for sword practise when he caught sight of Gwen kissing Arthur in the hidden, secret alcove (which wasn't really hidden because everyone knew where it was, and wasn't really a secret for the same reason) and he stopped dead in his tracks. Now Gwen is Elyan's little sister. No older brother wants to see their little sister's innocence destroyed. However, Arthur and Gwen were engaged now and Elyan didn't really get a say on whether Gwen kissed her betrothed in the privacy of the (not so) hidden alcove. If it was up to Elyan, then Gwen would be locked in a tower until her wedding day.

Elyan glared as he stomped into the courtyard and sat on one of the various stone benches that was littered around the expanse of stone cobbles. That was when Lancelot, Gwaine, Merlin, Percival and Leon arrived on the scene. Elyan decided that he would gripe about his problem to his friends, just like most big brothers do when their little sisters (or any siblings for that matter) are involved in their annoyance.

"I just saw Arthur and Gwen." Elyan stated.

"Oh? What were those lovebirds up to?" Gwaine asked cheekily.

"They were kissing!" Elyan exclaimed. Percival looked scandalized by the news. The others... not so much.

"Oh? Don't worry about it Elyan. They are engaged." Lancelot said kindly.

"Besides it's not like Gwen has never kissed anyone before." Merlin added. Elyan stared at Merlin with wide eyes, as he choked on air.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Elyan asked.

"Well..." Merlin wasn't quite sure how to address this issue. If he said something wrong it could go very badly for him.

"Surely you must know Gwen has kissed people before?" Leon asked Elyan.

"No! Who?" Elyan asked, honestly shocked.

"Well I kissed Gwen when we were about... nine? Although it was a childhood thing. We decided we wanted to see what the fuss was about really." Leon replied.

"That's not really kissing. You were nine!" Elyan exclaimed. Leon shrugged.

"Well? Who else has been kissing my sister?" Elyan asked, glaring at the others.

"Well technically I never kissed your sister." Gwaine replied cheerfully.

"You kissed my sister?" Elyan asked.

"It was an accident I swear! I was drunk and I tripped over and I landed on Gwen and... well there was a brush of lips. That was it I swear!" Gwaine yelled as Elyan attempted to stab him with his sword.

"Well Gwen kissed me when I was trying to save her from Hengist's castle." Lancelot quipped.

"WHAT? You're supposed to be the honourable one Lancelot!" Elyan yelled.

"It was a spur of the moment thing. Besides, Arthur and Gwen are getting married." Lancelot replied, trying to defuse the tension. Elyan looked at Merlin and Percival. He took note of Merlin stepping backwards ever so slightly, trying not to be noticed. Elyan just gaped as he pointed with his sword.

"Not you too? Merlin you're not even seen with anyone! Man or woman! How did you end up kissing my sister?" Elyan yelped.

"Merlin kissed Gwen?" Lancelot asked.

"Really?" Leon questioned.

"Well done Merlin!" Gwaine exclaimed in true boy fashion. Merlin blushed furiously.

"It wasn't like that! It was after the whole me drinking poison for Arthur thing, and she thought I'd died but I was okay, and she kissed me! I didn't even kiss her!" Merlin yelped out frantically as Elyan started chasing him around the courtyard. Percival sighed as he grabbed hold of Elyan's chainmail from behind, and stopped the man running after Merlin. After all, poor Merlin was defenceless. It wasn't really fair for Elyan to hit out at him.

Elyan looked at Percival with a glare on his face.

"You haven't kissed my sister have you?" Elyan asked Percival.

"No I haven't. I also have no intention of kissing your sister, especially as she's my friend's sister and engaged to the Prince, who could kill me if I did kiss her." Percival replied logically. Elyan sighed in relief.

"Okay, Percival is my new best friend." Elyan quipped.

"How does that work?" Gwaine asked.

"Because he's the only one who hasn't kissed my sister." Elyan stated. The others shrugged, and when Arthur finally came out to the courtyard, hair slightly mussed, no one said anything further as the Knights started training. Hopefully that would be the end of the matter, and no one would ever learn that Gwen had once kissed Morgana so the pair could test if they were straight or Lesbian. Morgana decided she was bisexual, and Gwen had just blinked and said that kissing didn't really tell anyone very much.

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Okay, I hope you found this amusing. I just thought it's funny that Gwen had kissed Lancelot, Merlin and Arthur, and seeing as Leon grew up with her they probably kissed too just to stop the cooties theory that some kids have when they're younger. LOL! Anywho, there will be other chapters when I can think of something very awkward for everyone.


	2. Morgana and Merlin

Okay all, another awkward moment from the Merlin cast. Thanks to those people who added me to their faves or alerts lists. I did have one review and thanks for that too. Anyways, on with this chapter. I don't think it will be one of my best, but I have more madness planned for later. LOL! Anywho, on with this chappie.

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That Awkward Moment When...

Morgana and Merlin Realise They Could've Had Godlike Offspring.

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Morgana and Merlin were facing off against each other. No secrets, no hiding and no disguises. Arthur, Leon, Elyan, Gwen, Lancelot, Gwaine and Percival were watching from one side, Morgana's allies were watching from the other side.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you had magic?" Morgana asked irritably.

"Wait what?" Merlin was confused. Weren't they supposed to be having an epic battle right about now?

"Well maybe if you'd talked to me about magic, as a being of magic, we might not even be here having this battle." Morgana stated.

"That's true I suppose. Or you could've turned me into your crazy, magic hating, father?" Merlin shot back.

"Hey! He was still my father Merlin!" Arthur yelled.

"Later Arthur!" Merlin yelled back.

"Why would I have turned you in? I mean even now, I hate you, yet I find you strangely attractive." Morgana stated.

"What!" Everyone else yelled. Merlin just blinked.

"Wait a second? You fancied Merlin?" Arthur questioned.

"There's nothing wrong with Merlin Arthur." Gwen scolded.

"He's... he's very girly and he has giant ears." Arthur stated moodily.

"Hey!" Merlin yelled.

"He's sensitive and loyal, and I find his ears endearing." Morgana replied. The other knights looked positively horrified.

"Wait a minute! Merlin's ears are... endearing?" Gwaine asked. Merlin went a bright shade of red as he covered his ears.

"Stop being mean to Merlin." Gwen stated.

"Besides, Gwen told me he was a great kisser." Morgana quipped.

"You kissed Merlin?" Arthur asked.

"This isn't new information." Gwaine stated.

"SHUT UP GWAINE!" The others yelled.

"I thought he was dead and then he was alive. It was a spur of the moment thing. You know, the poisoned goblet incident?" Gwen replied.

"And you never told me?" Arthur pointed at Merlin.

"Uh... I don't see why I should've done. This was way before you and Gwen. Trust me. It was like... my first few months in Camelot for crying out loud." Merlin quipped. Morgana looked thoughtful.

"Merlin?" She asked. Merlin looked at Morgana.

"I want to try something." Morgana stated.

"How do I know you don't want to just get close and kill me?" Merlin asked.

"I swear on Morgause's grave that's not what I want." Morgana replied. Merlin shrugged.

"Well she won't try to kill me when she says that." Merlin stated. Arthur slapped a hand to his face in exasperation. Morgana walked over to Merlin, placed her hands on each side of Merlin's face, and pulled him forward. Their lips pressed together. Everyone watched wide eyed as that one kiss turned into an almost make out session.

"Merlin! Stop kissing my sister! She wants to kill us all!" Arthur yelled. Well, then Merlin and Morgana broke apart.

"Well we do have chemistry." Morgana said.

"I suppose so." Merlin agreed.

"Imagine if we had children." Morgana stated thoughtfully.  
>"WHAT?" All the other people on the field yelled.<p>

"They'd be Godlike. I mean, your magical powers and my magical powers combined in little mini Merlins and Morganas. That would be extremely Godlike, right?" Morgana asked.

"I suppose so." Merlin replied. Both Merlin and Morgana looked thoughtful.

"You can't seriously be considering this." Gwen stated.

"You're mortal enemies!" Arthur exclaimed.

"Yeah but... epic godlike offspring hang in the balance!" Merlin exclaimed.

"Okay, it's decided. We have to go and make epic Godlike offspring." Morgana stated, nodding her head.

"Well it would be cruel to our genepool if neither one of us reproduced any heirs before having an epic battle." Merlin agreed.

"I think I just died and this is hell." Arthur replied.

"You two do realise what's involved in baby making right? How much time a pregnancy takes and all of that?" Gwen questioned.

"Well of course I do." Merlin replied. "I trained with Gaius for how long?" Merlin added.

"Exactly, and I read plenty of books on how long pregnancies take." Morgana added. Gwen looked at Arthur.

"Look, this is ridiculous. You two are supposed to be mortal enemies, and we're supposed to be having an epic battle here." Arthur stated to Morgana and Merlin.

"Well we'll have to postpone it for now." Morgana replied. She looked at her allies.

"Sorry everyone. You've got to go home for now. We'll have our epic battle at another point." Morgana called out to her allies. Everyone was totally confused.

"Merlin! You're supposed to be my best friend!" Arthur yelled. Merlin shrugged.

"It would be a crime against nature not to grace the world with Godlike offspring Arthur. I'll see you... soon?" Merlin replied. Then Morgana and Merlin were gone.

"Did that really just happen?" Arthur asked.

"That was the most awkward moment I think has ever happened to us." Gwen replied.

"I'm sure I'll top it one day." Gwaine replied.

"Shut up Gwaine!" The others stated.

xXxXxXx SEVEN MONTHS LATER xXxXxXx

Arthur was looking over some papers when a flash of light appeared in his room.

"Hey Arthur!" Merlin exclaimed. Arthur fell out of his chair then. He stared at Merlin and a very pregnant Morgana.

"Hey! Morgana wants to kill me!" Arthur yelled.

"Nope!" Merlin replied.

"I changed my mind." Morgana added.

"You... changed your... mind?" Arthur asked in confusion.

"Well, considering that I'm about to have a baby, I thought about what it would be like if my two babies fought each other and I didn't really like the thought. Well then it kind of occurred to me that we are siblings and that our mothers wouldn't approve of us trying to kill each other, and... well... you never really did anything wrong to me. So can we start afresh?" Morgana asked. Arthur looked between Merlin and Morgana. Morgana's giant stomach was what made Arthur crack.

"Okay, okay, we can start afresh." Arthur caved in like a girl with a sweet tooth being offered candy.

"Great! Now Merlin and I can get married and I'll be the wife of the court sorcerer. Maybe I can use my whole seeing abilities to help out! Oh and if the baby is a boy, we can call him Gaius!" Morgana stated cheerfully. Gwen walked into the room at that moment.

"I'm so very confused." Gwen stated.

"That's alright Gwen. You can come and help me plan for the wedding. Oh! You can be godmother to little Gaius or Evangeline!" Morgana said happily. Then she dragged Gwen off by the hand.

"Evangeline?" Arthur asked.

"Don't start." Merlin shot back.

"Your woman tells you what your children are going to be called." Arthur said, a mocking grin on his face.

"Your woman wears the pants." Arthur added.

"My woman is your sister, who I had wild, hot and raunchy sex with." Merlin shot back.

"Touché Merlin. Touché." Arthur replied.

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So Morgana and Merlin had a huge wedding, which was attended by the dumb founded people of Camelot and the dumbfounded Knights of the Epic Bromance. King Arthur and Queen Gwen were just as confused as everyone else. Gaius just shrugged when he was asked his thoughts.

"I'm going to be a great uncle so I don't really care." Was Gaius' casual answer.

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Two months later, Morgana's water broke, and Merlin was ordered to wait outside with the other men. Gwen was inside with Gaius, helping Morgana. This was the most traumatic moment of the lives of the Knights of Epic Bromance, Merlin's and Arthur's lives. Mostly they remembered a lot of screaming involved.

"So?" Gwaine questioned, trying to take everyone's mind off of the situation in the room beyond the door.

"So what?" Merlin asked.

"What was it like?" Gwaine asked. The others all looked at Gwaine in confusion.

"What was what like?" Merlin replied.

"Creating Godlike offspring with Arthur's sister?" Gwaine replied.

"Hey!" Arthur yelled.

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response." Merlin replied.

"Only because you'll traumatise Arthur for life." Gwaine scoffed. The other knights nodded in agreement.

"I'm already traumatised by the very idea. The fact that my sister is now giving birth is extremely traumatic. I don't know if it could possibly get worse." Arthur stated.

"Well..." Merlin trailed.

"Don't even think about it." Arthur hissed at Merlin. Merlin just blinked and stayed quiet.

"At least it's Arthur's sister and not mine that we're talking about for once." Elyan stated.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Arthur asked.

"Nothing Arthur." Merlin replied quickly.

"Nope, not a thing Sire." Leon added. Of course hours went by, and then there was the cry of a newborn baby. Everyone went silent. Gwen poked her head out of the room.

"It's a girl and a boy!" Gwen stated. Merlin went wide eyed and Arthur's eyes rolled up into his head and he fainted. The words, "I'm an Uncle" were heard before he hit the ground.

"Now he's out cold, what was it really like?" Gwaine asked. The other knights seemed interested.

"Ask Morgana yourselves. I'm not getting involved." Merlin replied as he went into the room to see his newborn, Godlike offspring.

"I still think his ears are way too big. How did he get to bed Morgana?" Gwaine asked. That was when his hair turned bright pink and frizzy.

"AAAAAH! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" Gwaine yelled. They all looked at the door to see Merlin holding the twin babies. Both sets of eyes glowed gold as they gurgled.

"They really are Godlike aren't they?" Leon asked.

"Wow, magic from birth! Totally Godlike offspring. Congratulations Merlin." Percival added.

"They're evil! They turned my beautiful hair into this!" Gwaine yelled, gesturing at the frizzy pink mess. Merlin snapped his fingers and Gwaine's hair was back to normal. He sighed with relief.

"I'll never talk badly about your ears again Merlin." Gwaine stated. Arthur was still passed out on the floor.

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That was just complete crack. But this urge came over me and I had to write it. LOL! I hope you all liked it, and please R&R and let me know what you thought.


	3. The Knights!

Okay people, here is the next chapter. Seeing as I couldn't reply to reviews for some reason (the link wasn't working when I got the reviews) I shall reply to them here.

**Stephy-Lou Clark-Weasley:** Thanks for the review. I'm glad that you found last chapter funny. I don't know what came over me. I do hope you find this one funny too.

Okay, I only got one review! LOL! Thanks to everyone who read and added me to their faves and alert lists. I really appreciate it.

Also, special props, and a dedication to AIR-IS-LIFE, who created this funny pic on Deviant art (called Creating Albion) that I loved, and which inspired me in to writing this chapter. The sign belongs to her. (nods)

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That Awkward Moment When...

The Knights Realise Eavesdropping is Wrong.

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Gwaine walked into the council room when he heard a groan come from the antechamber next door. He looked at the door to see a sign on parchment that read _'Do Not Disturb! Merlin and King Arthur are Creating Albion'_ Gwaine, being the dirty minded pervert that he is (in a totally loveable way of course) put his ear against the door.

"_Well let's get on with it then!"_ Arthur exclaimed.

"_There is no way that is going to fit! It's way too big Arthur! What are you thinking? We could just-"_ Merlin exclaimed back. Gwaine's eyes went wide but his listening was cut off when Leon came along with Percival.

"Gwaine, what the hell are you doing?" Leon hissed.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you what I just heard." Gwaine shot back.

"Gwaine you are going to get into serious trouble if Arthur catches you eavesdropping again." Leon stated. That was when another groan came from the room and all three knights looked at the closed door.

"_I told you it wasn't going to fit Arthur!"_ Merlin yelled.

"_Of course it will fit! That's what it's built for!"_ Arthur shot back. Leon and Percival's eyes went wide, and soon the pair were joining Gwaine at the door, Gwaine's scolding completely forgotten. That was when Elyan came along with Lancelot and interrupted the three from their listening so they didn't catch the rest of Merlin's sentence.

"What the hell are you all doing?" Elyan asked. Leon and Percival just ushered them over. The pair listened along with the other Knights.

"_Arthur I'm telling you it is too big! Look it's stuck! What the hell are we going to do now?"_ Merlin asked. Lancelot and Elyan looked very confused.

"But they're both married! To women!" Lancelot exclaimed quietly.

"We know that!" Gwaine hissed. They carried on listening.

"_Well, we'll just have to oil it, if it comes down to that."_ Arthur stated. All the knights had red faces.

"_Well they say oil's good for your skin."_ Merlin replied. There was another groan. None of the knights were sure if it came from Merlin or Arthur and they weren't sure they wanted to know.

"_Who told you that? Morgana?"_ Arthur mocked.

"_Actually Gaius did. He said he used to use it when trying to get Uther to relax-"_ The rest of what Merlin said was lost in the gasps let out by the knights.

"King Uther and Gaius? Are you serious?" Leon asked.

"I didn't know the old dog had it in him." Gwaine said incredulously. They carried on listening.

"_Your sister has plenty of other uses for oil."_ Merlin stated proudly.

"_Don't talk about my sister like that? That isn't a mental image I want right now!"_ Arthur yelled.

"_Afraid of it destroying your mood?"_ Merlin shot back.

"_Shut up Merlin and get on with it!"_ Arthur yelled. The knights heard more groaning from both men.

"_I should totally have asked Percival to do this. You're such a wimp Merlin!"_ Arthur exclaimed. Percival looked wide eyed at the other knights, his cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

"_Then go and ask Percival!"_ Merlin shot back. Percival's eyes went wider, if that were possible, and he backed away from the door slightly.

"_But, you've always been my servant. So serve me like you're supposed to!"_ Arthur stated. The knights gasped. That was when the door to the council room opened and Morgana walked in. She saw the knights gathered around the door.

"So what's going on here then?" Morgana asked. All the knights stood up and barred the door. Morgana didn't need to know what was going on, surely.

"Nothing My Lady. You really don't need to go in there." Gwaine stated. Though his eyes betrayed his absolute fear of the woman. Morgana sighed and nudged Gwaine to the side, when they all heard the next part of the conversation.

"_I think I'm going to change my job description, I didn't know being the Court Sorcerer involved handling your hard-"_ That was when Morgana pushed the door open.

"-labour!" Merlin finished, as the Knights stared incredulously into the room. There were Merlin and Arthur, fully clothed, trying to move a... round table.

xXxXxXx WHAT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING BEHIND THE DOOR xXxXxXx

"Well let's get on with it then!" Arthur exclaimed. Merlin stared at the round table that he'd just transported magically into the room.

"There is no way that's going to fit! It's way too big Arthur! What are you thinking? We could just transport it into the council room with my magic." Merlin shot back.

"I had it especially made so that it will be perfect and everyone can sit around it." Arthur said sulkily. "It has to go into the new meeting room." Arthur added.

"What has that go to do with whether or not I just use my magic to move it?" Merlin asked.

"Because I want to do some of the work myself." Arthur replied. Merlin rolled his eyes as they attempted to move the huge table. Merlin and Arthur both groaned with the effort. But the giant thing stayed exactly in place. There was no way they were going to budge the thing without extra help, more muscle or a cart. But a cart wasn't going to get into the castle.

"I told you it wasn't going to fit Arthur!" Merlin stated.

"Of course it will fit! That's what it's built for!" Arthur shot back.

"It's a table Arthur. It's built to sit there and look pretty and things are supposed to rest on top of it. It's not built to fit through any doorway." Merlin stated. First they were going to have to get it through the archway, but Merlin had a feeling the table was too wide. They had finally managed to get it towards the archway and Merlin was panting with the effort. But as Merlin had feared, the table couldn't fit through the archway, and as they tried to get it through, Merlin realised that it was stuck.

"Arthur I'm telling you it is too big! Look it's stuck! What the hell are we going to do now?" Merlin questioned. Merlin didn't want the table to be broken or scratched. After all, it was Arthur's round table. That would be a ridiculous waste of wood and polish.

"Well, we'll just have to oil it, if it comes down to that." Arthur stated irritably. Arthur didn't like oil in the least. Merlin sighed again.

"Well they say oil's good for your skin." Merlin shot back. Arthur groaned as he attempted to push the table through the archway, but soon realised that the effort was rather wasted.

"Who told you that? Morgana?" Arthur asked mockingly, hoping to annoy Merlin. Merlin smirked back at Arthur.

"Actually Gaius did. He said he used to use it when trying to get Uther to relax after he got injured. Gaius used to use it on his torn ligaments and strained muscles." Merlin stated. Then he smirked again. "Your sister has plenty of other uses for oil." Merlin added evilly. Arthur glared at Merlin angrily.

"Don't talk about my sister like that? That isn't a mental image I want right now!" Arthur yelled, his own face flushed with embarrassment.

"Afraid of it destroying your mood?" Merlin asked sarcastically. Merlin knew that Arthur and Gwen were trying for a baby at the moment. Arthur glared.

"Shut up Merlin and get on with it!" Arthur yelled. Merlin and Arthur tried to move the table again. Merlin and Arthur were both straining their muscles with the effort. Both of them groaned in frustration.

"I should totally have asked Percival to do this. You're such a wimp Merlin!" Arthur stated.

"Then go and ask Percival!" Merlin shot back.

"But, you've always been my servant. So serve me like you're supposed to! Help me move this bloody table into the council room! I can't do it by myself!" Arthur stated. He looked pouty and sulky and Merlin wanted to laugh.

"Why didn't you ask the knights to help?" Merlin asked.

"It's supposed to be a surprise." Arthur hissed. Merlin did laugh then.

"I think I'm going to change my job description, I didn't know being the Court Sorcerer involved handling your hard-" That was when the door opened. "-labour!" Merlin finished as he looked to see all the knights standing outside. He looked at Morgana who walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Hi Morgana." Merlin said cheerfully.

xXxXxXx BACK TO EVERYONE'S P.O.V xXxXxXx

"Wait? What?" Gwaine yelled in confusion. Merlin, Morgana and Arthur looked very confused.

"What's wrong with all of you?" Arthur asked, as the knights stared in confusion. Morgana smirked as she noted the red flush of embarrassment on the faces of the knights, and Gwaine's incredulous look.

"I think they were eavesdropping and got the wrong impression." Morgana said.

"No!" Gwaine exclaimed loudly. "We weren't eavesdropping! Really! We were just... walking past... right?" Gwaine turned to the other knights, his face asking for help.

"Yes! That's right, we were all walking by and we thought there was a secret meeting going on." Leon added. Morgana smirked at the knights.

"More like a secret rendezvous. None of you should be eavesdropping, you never know what you might hear." Morgana stated. Merlin and Arthur looked at the knights carefully then.

"What exactly did you think we were doing?" Merlin asked.

"Surely you didn't think we were... how do I put it?" Arthur questioned. Morgana grinned at the knights.

"They thought you were... 'Making the beast with two backs' as it were." Morgana replied cheekily. Merlin and Arthur both burst into laughter, at the mortified expressions on the faces of the knights.

"You really thought-" Arthur questioned through laughs

"That we'd-" Merlin added, trying to control his laughter.

"With each other?" Arthur added.

"That's ridiculous!" Both men said at the same time. They were still laughing.

"I've got a wife you know." Arthur stated.

"And I've also got a wife, who happens to be Morgana. I've got all the excitement I can handle right there." Merlin replied. Arthur gave Merlin a filthy look, while Morgana smirked evilly.

"If I wanted more than one man in my marriage, I certainly wouldn't pick my half brother for goodness sake." Morgana stated. The knights wanted to ask questions about all the innuendos they'd heard but they didn't think now was the right time.

"So you were looking for us?" Merlin asked Morgana. She nodded and then she looked at Merlin.

"Are you coming Merlin? It's three fifteen after all." Morgana stated. Merlin went red.

"Uh... well I'm sorry I'm late. But I was helping Arthur." Merlin replied.

"You'll just have to make it up to me then won't you?" Morgana stated.

"What happens at three fifteen?" Everyone else asked. Merlin and Morgana both smirked.

"You don't want to know." Merlin replied.

"I do!" Gwaine exclaimed.

"You always do Gwaine, but I'm sure my brother doesn't want to know." Morgana replied. Then she grabbed Merlin by the sleeve of his jacket and pulled him out of the room. Gwaine was sure he heard Morgana telling Merlin 'You've been a very naughty boy' just as the council room doors closed, but he didn't really want to think about it. It was too weird to think about Merlin doing anything remotely... adult...

"Wait a second! MERLIN! YOU DIDN'T HELP ME PUT THE TABLE IN THE COUNCIL CHAMBERS!" Arthur yelled. Then he deflated, and pouted. That was when Gwen came into the room, holding on to Gaius and Evangeline. The twins looked positively elfin, as they smiled at their favourite uncle, and all of a sudden, the table was in the council chambers, exactly where Arthur had wanted it. Arthur grinned.

"I love being an uncle to God-like offspring. You are good babies. Aren't you? Yes you are!" Arthur cooed at the two children, who giggled up at him happily. That was when Gwen and Arthur left the room, chatting about some things, and the knights were left in the council chamber.

"I think I'm never going to eavesdrop again." Gwaine stated. The other knights nodded and they left the council chamber together, all heading for the tavern. After all, they needed a drink to cure their mental scarring at this point.

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Yes that's the end of this chapter. I don't know what came over me. Please R&R and let me know what you think.


	4. Arthur!

Okay all, a body switch chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy and thanks to all my reviewers. Please remember that this is a crack fic and so no insult is intended. There will be mentions of sex and craziness.

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The Awkward Moment When...

Arthur Realises That Merlin's Life is Harder Then It Looks.

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Arthur was horrified when he woke up in Merlin's chambers.

It all started when Arthur said Merlin had an easy life, last night at dinner. Merlin had told Arthur to prove it. Arthur had said he would if he could.

"How the hell did I get here?" Arthur asked.

"I dragged you here after you drank too much wine Merlin. I really should stop you drinking, but you're so easy when you're drunk." Arthur's eyes went as wide as dinner plates when he looked to the side and saw Morgana lying in bed next to him. He jumped out of bed, covering himself with the first thing that came to hand (Morgana's dress).

"What are you doing here Morgana?" Arthur yelled. Morgana gave Arthur a strange look.

"Merlin? Did you hit your head against the headboard too hard last night? We've been married for nearly a year now. Where else would I be?" Morgana stated. Arthur felt confusion well up in him when he heard Morgana call him Merlin. He looked in the mirror and saw Merlin's face.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

After a few minor hiccups whilst getting dressed,

("Merlin come back to bed. What are you doing hiding behind the screen? I've seen it all before anyways") mainly from Morgana of course, Arthur had finally managed to make it to the throne room, where he saw Gwen sitting on the throne.

"Merlin! You're late again." Gaius stated. Arthur looked at Gaius incredulously.

"Uhm... where is King Arthur?" Arthur asked Gaius, figuring if he was in Merlin's body he would have to act like Merlin for now.

"King Arthur? You never address our King by his title. What have you done Merlin? I do hope Morgana isn't pregnant again. We barely survived the last pregnancy. Evangeline and little Gaius are causing havoc. You'll have to go down to the kitchens after this and fetch them. They've just learned how to fly using magic. So you'll have to get them to go back in their cribs." Gaius stated.

"What?" Arthur yelled. Gwen looked over at Gaius and Arthur.

"Merlin what's wrong?" Gwen asked.

"Uhm... Gaius just told me that the twins are... flying around the kitchen magically." Arthur replied. Gwen grinned then.

"They grow so fast. It seemed like only yesterday they were doing awful things to Gwaine's hair." Gwen said.

"Gwen, that was yesterday." Elyan stated. Arthur was sure he'd stepped into some warped fantasy land.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Arthur was running around the kitchen for what felt like hours until he finally caught hold of Evangeline and little Gaius. The two looked at him, and their eyes flashed gold. All of a sudden, a roped curled around Arthur and tied him up. The twins giggled as they floated away, out of the kitchen. It took ten minutes for Arthur to get the knots undone. It seemed when Arthur wanted someone there was no one around. That was when he heard Morgana's voice and quickly hid under the table near to him.

"Have any of you seen Merlin?" Morgana asked.

"No my lady, he was chasing after the little ones, but they flew out of the kitchen a few minutes ago." One of the kitchen maids replied.

"Thank you Marta. I cannot believe Merlin is making me wait for afternoon delight. He already made me miss breakfast in bed by waking up late." Morgana said. Arthur couldn't see her, but he knew she was pouting, and he heard her footsteps walk out of the kitchen. It was only after she'd gone that Arthur realised what Morgana was saying precisely and did his best not to gag at the idea.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

When Arthur finally managed to catch up with the twins (He didn't ask Morgana for help, fearing 'afternoon delight' and what would happen at its avoidance) he made his way to his own chambers, where he found his new manservant. The boy looked at him with an almost pleading look.

"Lord Merlin I don't know what to do. King Arthur left without giving me a list of chores and if I haven't done them by the time I get back then he'll be so angry. Can you help? You always know what to do." The boy said sadly. Arthur found himself with a polishing rag in his hands while the boy ran to clear out the stables.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

It was late that evening when Morgana finally found him. Arthur was rather frightened by the look on Morgana's face. Although he wouldn't admit it. Pendragons were NOT frightened of girls.

"Merlin! Where have you been all day?" Morgana exclaimed.

"Well, there was this thing with the twins and then there was a problem with Gregory (the manservant, whose name Arthur had only just learned after employing the boy for a year) and then I was asked to help with-" Arthur didn't get to finish what he was saying, because Morgana grabbed hold of his shirt with her hands and started dragging him towards Merlin's chambers.

"_Oh no! No! No! NO! This is NOT happening!" _Arthur thought to himself as Morgana dragged him along.

"Merlin, you have deprived your wife of marital relations, and now you are going to get into the bed chamber or so help me I am going to strip you off here and make sure you never forget to find me for afternoon delight again!" Morgana exclaimed. Arthur's eyes went wide, as he realised Morgana was serious.

"_There is no way I am sleeping with my sister!"_ Arthur thought to himself. That was when Arthur saw his body coming down the hall.

"Morgana, do you mind if I talk to Merlin for a few minutes? I'll send him in to you when I've finished." Arthur saw his body ask Morgana.

"Make it quick Arthur." Morgana stated irritably before she went into the bedroom and closed the door.

"So Arthur, have you had fun being me for the day?" Arthur saw himself ask.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked his body. His body nodded back.

"Don't worry, we're switching back now." Merlin stated, before uttering a spell. Arthur felt a tug, a strange sense of dizziness and then he was looking at Merlin's body and looking down at his own hands.

"Oh thank god. I will NEVER say your life is easy again Merlin." Arthur stated.

"Can I have that in writing?" Merlin asked.

"No! You're lucky I haven't killed you. Morgana has been chasing your body for sex all day." Arthur replied, disgusted with the idea.

"It's not my fault that I'm irresistible." Merlin replied. Then he went into his bed chambers and Arthur went back to his own, where he found Gwen waiting for him.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

After Merlin and Morgana had hot, raunchy sex, the pair were lying in bed together.

"So you were planning to wind Arthur up all this time?" Merlin asked.

"Of course I was. I knew it was him, but the look on his face was priceless! You should have seen it!" Morgana exclaimed cheerfully.

"I'm not planning to get on the wrong side of you my love." Merlin stated.

"Don't make me miss afternoon delight again and you won't. But if you do, I make no promises." Morgana quipped. Merlin gulped and nodded, knowing that Morgana was perfectly serious about what she said.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Okay, so that was just randomness for all of you. I hope you liked it. Please R&R and let me know what you think.


	5. Morgana Realises The Dragon Hates Her

Okay, here's the next chapter. A little weird, a lot of implied Merthur but in one P.O.V. Hope you all enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who added me to their favourites and alerts and to all those who reviewed.

Also, Series 5 of Merlin starts this Saturday and I can't wait. Can I hear a HELL YEAH! For all the British Merlin fans? And to all of you in other countries, I'm sorry you have to wait. But if you go to google and then type in project free tv, you should be able to watch Merlin on Sunday instead. Project free tv usually has new episodes of things up the day after they air. it's how I'll be watching the new season of Once Upon A Time which airs on Sunday.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

That Awkward Moment When...

Chapter Five – Morgana Realises Why The Dragon Hates Her So Much.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Morgana had decided to follow Merlin into the woods. She knew he met the dragon on Wednesdays, because Mondays and Fridays were too busy, and Sunday was stay-in-bed-for-as-long-as-possible day. At least it was for Morgana and Merlin. But Merlin did not allow Morgana to come with him. He'd actually forbidden her from coming with him to see the Dragon. Now, Morgana had always been the dominant one in the relationship and the fact that _Merlin_ would _forbid her_ to do anything was absurd. So Morgana did what any other dominant female would do when her husband forbids her to do something. She followed him.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Percival, Elyan, Gwaine and Leon were all gathered in the corridor looking out of one of the windows when they noticed Merlin leaving. It was Wednesday so they weren't surprised, but what did surprise them was that Morgana was following him.

"Maybe we should follow her?" Gwaine stated.

"Are you crazy? Remember the _last_ eavesdropping session we had? I'm never eavesdropping again!" Leon exclaimed loudly. The other Knights shuddered, they hadn't forgotten the incident with the Round Table. Gwaine shrugged.

"We said we wouldn't eavesdrop on _Arthur _and_ Merlin_, not _Morgana_ and _Merlin_." Gwaine replied.

"Good point." Elyan agreed.

"An _excellent_ point actually, but I'll be going with you." The Knights turned to see Arthur in the corridor with Gwen. The Knights didn't bother to argue with Arthur, knowing they wouldn't win. So the group left to follow after Morgana. As they headed for the woods, Arthur and Gwen looked at the Knights. "Why were you all gathered in the corridor anyways? Didn't I give you all guard duty?" Arthur asked.

"We got some guards to handle it." Gwaine replied.

"They're useless, that's why I asked you lot to do it." Arthur replied.

"Then why are they your guards if they're useless?" Gwen asked. Arthur didn't answer as they crept further into the woods.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Morgana arrived at the specified clearing to see Merlin sat on a log, talking to The Great Dragon.

"You do realise that Morgana is my wife Kilgarrah?" Merlin stated.

"But you and the young Pendragon are two sides of the same coin!" Kilgarrah almost whined. Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Arthur is married to Gwen and I'm married to Morgana. We are NOT a secretly gay couple Kilgarrah." Merlin intoned drily. Morgana's eyes went wide.

"It's all that witch's fault!" Kilgarrah grumbled,

"Don't call her that." Merlin said. Almost as though it were just a reflex and he didn't expect it to make a difference.

"Well if she wasn't so busy trying to get into your pants then you and the young Pendragon would already have created Albion by now." Kilgarrah replied.

"But we've already created Albion!" Merlin exclaimed.

"Good point young warlock." Kilgarrah conceded. Morgana's eyes went even wider as she stepped into the clearing.

"So you hate me because I'm a bigger threat to your idea that Merlin and Arthur should be together?" Morgana asked.

"Yes! That Guinevere is a wimp. But you're crazy. I wouldn't bet against you. However, you're ruining my perfect vision." Kilgarrah stated.

"How many forest mushrooms have you eaten today Kilgarrah? I warned you about them. They can give hallucinations if you eat the wrong ones." Merlin asked. Kilgarrah looked very contrite in that moment.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

The Knights, Arthur and Guinevere all looked at each other form their own hiding place around the clearing.

"We're all going home and we _never_ speak of this again." Arthur hissed.

"What? About your epic romance with Merlin that was foretold by a mushroom addled dragon? Nope we'll never talk about it again." Gwen replied. Arthur glared at this wife and the group left, not ever bothering to listen as Morgana and Kilgarrah started arguing over the pros and cons of which relationship was more beneficial for Merlin in the long run.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

So, that's the end of this chapter. I know it's random, but I hope you found it funny at any rate. Please R&R and let me know what you thought.


	6. Arthur (Again)

Okay, here's the next chapter. This is dedicated to Stephy-Lou Clark-Weasley because her review made me think to write this. Thanks Stephy-Lou!

Also, to **The Electric Phantom**, the fact that you got that reference for Seven Brides for Seven Brothers in chapter two makes you epic. I bow to your epicness. (nods) And thanks for the review for chapter 5 too. I'm glad you loved it. I did want to reply to your reviews, but for some strange reason would not allow it. So I hope you like this chapter.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

That Awkward Moment When...

Chapter Six – Arthur Realises That Gwen Spends Too Much Time Around The Knights.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Arthur walked into the throne room, expecting to find his wife seated on her throne next to his. Instead, he found the throne room empty. Arthur frowned as he heard noise coming from the training yard outside. So Arthur walked over and opened one of the windows that looked out over the training yards, and there he saw his wife practising using a crossbow with Leon. Arthur frowned.

"Since when was Guinevere interested in crossbows?" Arthur asked himself.

"She's liked them since Leon showed how easy it is to hunt rabbits with them." Arthur spun around to see Merlin behind him. "What is that supposed to mean?" Arthur asked. Then after a beat he asked another question. "Where the hell did you come from?" It was almost as an afterthought. Merlin shrugged.

"I'm a supreme magical being, did you really think that question through Arthur?" Merlin replied. Then he walked over to the window and saw Gwen was actually very good with the crossbow. "She did used to be a servant. We all used to have to go and hunt meat. No offence but when your father was alive we had crazy taxes on meat." Merlin stated. Then he looked out of the window again. "She must spend a lot of time practising, she's really good with that crossbow. Almost as good as she is with that wooden staff she's been training with with Percival." Merlin commented and then he was gone. Arthur blinked.

"Wait! Since when does Guinevere practise with staffs?" Arthur said. Then he realised that he was alone again and growled angrily, wishing Merlin would at least warn him before he did that.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Later that night, Arthur and Gwen were getting ready for bed when Gwen grabbed a spice bag from seemingly nowhere and started to pour a white powder around the bed. Arthur blinked at his wife.

"Guinevere, what are you doing?" Arthur asked.

"Putting salt around the bed." Gwen replied.

"Why?" Arthur asked.

"Because it keeps away bad spirits." Gwen replied.

"Who told you that?" Arthur asked.

"My brother." Gwen said again. She was still pouring salt. Arthur blinked.

"I'm sure Elyan tried this before and it didn't work. He ended up possessed by the spirit of a druid boy." Arthur stated. Gwen blinked.

"Nope. He told me about that. But he got it wrong. He made a circle at the foot of his bed instead of making a circle all the way around the bed, which is what I'm doing right now." Gwen said. Arthur decided to give up the discussion. It would do little good to argue the point with Gwen anyway, after all, siblings usually thought alike, and Elyan still poured salt around his bed.

xXxXxXx THREE DAYS LATER xXxXxXx

It was late in the evening and Arthur was once again looking for Gwen. He could find her nowhere in the castle, and as a last resort he knocked on Morgana and Merlin's door. He heard noise from within, and then muffled conversation.

"_Merlin whoever it is can bugger off! Our sex life is becoming very inactive since we moved back here to Camelot!"_ Morgana exclaimed. Arthur felt an overwhelming sense of horror envelope him.

"_Morgana we have sex six times a day!"_ Merlin exclaimed back. Arthur nearly choked on air, and forgot to breathe.

"_And yet we're always getting interrupted! How are we supposed to make any more God like offspring with all these distractions?"_ Morgana stated. That was when Merlin opened the door to see Arthur. His face and the tops of his ears went bright red. "Who is it Merlin?" Morgana asked.

"Your older brother, who looks like he's stopped breathing. He obviously heard our conversation. Arthur breathe!" Merlin yelled at Arthur. Arthur gasped and took a deep breath.

"What's wrong Arthur." Morgana asked, coming to the door in a robe. Arthur blinked and then remembered.

"I was looking for Gwen. I tried everywhere else, I thought the two of you might be talking." Arthur stated, choosing to ignore anything else he had just heard for the sake of his sanity. Morgana shrugged.

"Nope she's not here. Try the tavern. She did promise Gwaine she'd visit him so he could teach her how to get immune to the effects of alcohol. Although if you ask me, that's pointless because all we have to do is say a short spell and no more hangovers." Morgana replied cheerfully.

"My wife drinks?" Arthur asked. Then something else dawned on him. "She's gone out drinking with Gwaine! Oh my poor innocent wife!" Arthur exclaimed before running off.

"Is now the right time to tell him that Gwen stole your lipginity?" Morgana asked. Merlin gave Morgana a firm stare.

"There is _never_ a right time for that conversation Morgana." Merlin replied, before they closed the door and went back to earlier activities.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

When Arthur arrived at 'The Rising Sun' he was horrified to see Gwen standing on a table in the middle of the tavern. What was worse was she was singing.

"Well you've been a splendid audience, but now the time is passed,

So don't you all be letting the door hit you in the ass,

You've been a lovely audience, but enough is enough,

We'd take a drink kindly if you'd all just bugger off,

So bugger off, you bastards bugger off,

Bugger off, you bastards bugger off,

Like a herd of bloody swine who refuse to leave the trough,

You'll get no more this evening, so you bastards bugger off,

Here's to barkeep and waitresses been serving you your beers,

They've put up with your noxious breath and stupid drunken leers,

Be leaving all your money on the table when you go,

For all you'll have a throbbing head and nothing else to show

So bugger off, you bastards bugger,

Bugger off, you bastards bugger off,

Like a herd of bloody swine who refuse to leave the trough,

You'll get no more this evening, so you bastards bugger off,

Here's to all the lovely people who might be waiting for the band,

And thinking one of them might make a charming one night stand,

Please don't be offended, this song's not meant for you,

And we'll be happy to oblige you when this nasty job is through

So bugger off, you bastards bugger off,

Bugger off, you bastards bugger off,

Like a herd of bloody swine who refuse to leave the trough,

You'll get no more this evening, so you bastards bugger off,

So you've been promising the ladies a night of loving bliss,

But truth be told you're far too drunk to stand up straight and piss,

So give it up you bloody sots, you'll not be getting laid,

And the sooner that you're out the door the sooner we'll get paid

So bugger off, you bastards bugger off,

Bugger off, you bastards bugger off,

Like a herd of bloody swine who refuse to leave the trough,

You'll get no more this evening, so you bastards bugger off."

Arthur was horrified by the language coming out of Gwen's mouth and saw that everyone was cheering her on. Gwaine was the loudest, of course, so Arthur knew there would be no help coming form that quarter. That was when Elyan arrived.

"Where did you come from?" Arthur asked.

"My house? I do live here in Camelot. One of the regulars said the Queen was drunk and dancing on tables so I thought I'd come and get her and bring her home." Elyan stated firmly. "But since you're here, I should just leave that job to you." Elyan added. Before he could run though, Arthur had grabbed the back of his short and dragged him further into the room.

"Oh no you don't Elyan. If you think I'm handling this situation with my wife and Gwaine all by myself you've got another thought coming." Arthur stated. Elyan sighed, resigned to his fate and the pair managed to wrangle both Gwen and Gwaine out of the tavern, much to the disappointment of the locals who were enjoying Gwen's singing. Arthur and Elyan groaned as they dragged the drunken pair home, all the while, both Gwen and Gwaine were singing at the top of their lungs.

"So bugger off, you bastards bugger off,

Bugger off, you bastards bugger off,

Like a herd of bloody swine who refuse to leave the trough,

You'll get no more this evening, so you bastards bugger off..."

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

The next morning, when Gwen woke with a giant hangover, Arthur firmly told Gwen she was spending far too much time with the Knights and she needed to find something else to do with her time. Gwen pouted and then agreed sadly when a servant dropped a metal goblet in front of her at breakfast and she yelled at the poor creature because of her headache. Arthur felt a smug sense of satisfaction that his wife would go back to normal and everything would carry on as before, without Gwen playing with crossbows, salt, wooden staffs, or without her going with Gwaine to the tavern. He could do without that ever happening again.

xXxXxXx ONE WEEK LATER xXxXxXx

Arthur sighed as he was once again looking for Gwen. He then heard cheering coming from the laundry room. Arthur had a bad feeling about this, and he wondered which Knight had taught his wife another bad habit, when he walked in and saw his wife playing dice. Merlin was stood in a corner smirking proudly as Gwen won.

"That's the fourth time in a row!" One man said. Gwen grinned.

"Well Merlin taught me everything I know." Gwen stated. Arthur groaned.

"Well at least she took what I said about spending so much time with the Knights seriously..." Arthur thought to himself as he left the room, giving up for today. He had a feeling Morgana would come and try to kill him later, because Merlin was spending time with Gwen and it was interrupting her sex life. So Arthur decided to find a nice quiet corner to hide for... let's say... the next month.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Okay all, I hope you found this funny. It's just demonstrating that if Gwen spent loads of time with the knights she's start to act like them. But it's supposed to be taken out of proportion so I hope it made you all laugh. Please R&R and let me know what you thought and I will update as soon as possible.


	7. Everyone (Except Arthur and Gwen)

Okay, so here is the next chapter of That Awkward Moment When for all of you. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed and added me to their faves and alerts lists. I really appreciate it. Just for the sake of it, I feel like asking if anyone went to watch "The Great Gatsby" starring Leonardo DiCaprio at the cinema. I did with my 'sister from another mister' BF and not only was it quite epic, the soundtrack was just banging! Like it was so awesome. Search it out on youtube. (nods) Feel free to comment.

So, an everyone chapter. LOL! I hope you all find it funny.

Also to my reviewer, **the electric phantom**, thanks so much for reviewing. I couldn't reply personally because you've disabled your PM feature or something. That's what it said when I tried to reply to your review. So thanks loads for reviewing.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

That Awkward Moment When...

Everyone Realises That Gwen and Arthur Have No Heirs.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Merlin and I have successfully completed our mission." Morgana stated at breakfast that morning. Merlin went bright red.

"What mission? I didn't send you on a mission! Did I send them on a mission?" Arthur asked Gwen. Gwen blinked.

"Umn... Arthur, I think Morgana is talking about their own personal mission. What mission did you complete again?" Gwen asked Morgana, after answered Arthur, who looked more confused than ever.

"The mission to procreate more Godlike offspring of course! Not that it's easy in this castle. Everyone is always interrupting our efforts." Morgana replied. That was when Gwaine burst into the room with Percival, Leon and Elyan behind him.

"We did try to stop him." Percival said sadly.

"Did you just say Merlin knocked you up again?" Gwaine asked, rather rudely.

"Yes." Morgana answered.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I thought we'd managed to prevent the apocalypse! Gaius and Evangeline are enough! Why on earth do you need more Godlike offspring?" Gwaine pleaded pathetically. Suddenly, Elyan looked at Morgana and then Gwen strangely.

"Wait, why don't Arthur and Gwen have any children yet?" Elyan asked. Gwen and Arthur went bright red then.

"It's because, unlike Merlin and I, they do not have afternoon delight. They don't have time to procreate." Morgana replied. Merlin buried his red face in his palms.

"Could you _not_ discuss our sex life in public? _Especially_ not in front of your brother?" Merlin pleaded. Gwaine grinned at that.

"No, please continue Morgana. I so enjoy seeing Arthur's face tortured by horrible images." Gwaine stated happily.

"Shut up Gwaine!" Leon exclaimed.

"This is so not the time." Elyan added. Percival didn't say a word. Gwen and Arthur were on the verge of hiding under the table at this point from embarrassment.

"Don't even think about it, unless you're making royal heirs under that table." Elyan stated.

"You've changed your tune." Percival quipped.

"Look, they're married, and if I want nieces and nephews, they'd better get cracking." Elyan replied seriously.

"Oh dear Gods!" Morgana exclaimed.

"You just got an awful image in your head didn't you Morgana?" Gwaine questioned, the smile on his face growing ever wider. Morgana glared.

"No, you idiot. Because unlike Arthur, I'm a grown up so whether he sleeps with his wife or not doesn't bother me. What does bother me is that my Godlike offspring do not have any cousins. Merlin doesn't have any brothers or sisters and I only have Arthur. That's it! Arthur, you and Gwen are going on a vacation!" Morgana exclaimed. Arthur and Gwen peaked over the top of the table.

"I can't just go on vacation Morgana. Who will run the kingdom?" Arthur questioned.

"Merlin can, until you two come back and tell us there are royal heirs on the way." Morgana stated.

"But Morgana, we have to make preparations and-" Before Gwen could continue, Morgana muttered some spell and Arthur and Gwen disappeared.

"What did you do with them?" Merlin asked warily.

"Don't worry, they're on a little island with magical servants. You remember where we went after the whole deciding to have Godlike offspring conversation?" Morgana replied. Merlin grinned.

"I remember that place. Good times. Good times." Merlin stated happily. Morgana looked at the Knights.

"No more eavesdropping or I'll magically attach your penises to the doors." Morgana stated before getting up and leaving the room. Gwaine looked horrified.

"She can't really do that can she?" Leon whispered to Percival.

"She can." Merlin stated.

"How do you know?" Gwaine asked.

"Because Morgana doesn't make idle threats." Merlin replied before leaving the room after his wife.

"I've just realised something." Elyan stated.

"What?" Percival asked.

"What if Arthur and Gwen never manage to procreate?" Elyan asked.

"You think of that now?" Gwaine yelled in exasperation. Then he stormed out of the room, his hair bouncing as he did so.

"You know, Gwaine has really girly hair." Percival said.

"I HEARD THAT!" Gwaine yelled. The rest of the Knights fell silent.

xXxXxXx THREE MONTHS LATER xXxXxXx

"Is she pregnant yet?" Percival asked Morgana.

"Nope." Morgana replied. Her own stomach sticking out as she lounged on a very comfortable chair near Gwen's throne.

"How do you know she isn't?" Elyan asked.

"I know everything." Morgana replied. The Knights sighed as Merlin walked into the room.

"You do realise that Lot is planning to attack because Arthur isn't here right?" Merlin commented to his wife drily.

"Yes I know. Don't worry. If they turn up, we'll turn them into flying pigs." Morgana stated.

"If they're flying pigs, they can fly and crap on our heads at the same time." Gwaine stated. Morgana frowned.

"Oh... I didn't think of that. Frogs then. Everyone likes frogs right?" Morgana asked. The Knights and Merlin all sighed then.

xXxXxXx ONE MONTH LATER xXxXxXx

Morgana and Merlin were both sleeping, when Morgana sat up in bed, raising a hand, and one finger extended upwards.

"Eureka! They've finally done it!" Morgana exclaimed. Merlin jolted out of sleep.

"What? Finally? Thank the Gods! Now Arthur can come back and bloody rule his kingdom and we can go back to you chasing me for sex while I chase our Godlike offspring away from the kitchen and Gwaine's hair." Merlin stated, before going back to sleep. Morgana just grinned maniacally.

xXxXxXx ONE MONTH LATER xXxXxXx

Morgana was in labour... again... Arthur and Gwen stood outside the room with Merlin and the Knights. Gwen looked at Merlin.

"Did you two decide on any names?" Gwen asked.

"Well, Morgana wants Vivienne for a girl and I want Balinor for a boy. So we agreed to those names." Merlin replied. Gwaine stared at Merlin.

"There had better not be Twins coming out of your evil wife again." Gwaine stated. Merlin snorted out laughter as Gwaine pouted. That was when Gaius came out of the room.

"Merlin, it's triplets! How on earth did you two manage that?" Gaius asked incredulously. Gwaine's jaw dropped in horror.

"Boys or girls?" Merlin asked.

"A girl and two boys." Gaius replied. Merlin grinned.

"Great, we can call the other boy Will!" Merlin exclaimed. Arthur looked at Gwen.

"How many nieces and nephews do we have now?" Arthur asked.

"Three nieces and three nephews." Gwen replied.

"Um... Gwen, I think your maths is a bit skewed there." Merlin replied. Gwen glared at Elyan.  
>"The next time you decide to sleep with a tavern girl in Caerleon, remember this moment Elyan. You're a father." Gwen stated. Elyan stared wide eyed at Gwen and then promptly fainted.<p>

"Is he really?" Merlin asked.

"No. I was just messing with him." Gwen replied.

xXxXxXx EIGHT MONTHS LATER xXxXxXx

"I'm gonna be an Auntie! I'm gonna be an Auntie!" Morgana sang out as she danced around Merlin, Arthur and the Knights. The time for Gwen to give birth had finally arrived.

"Have you two decided on names?" Merlin asked Arthur.

"I wanted Uther for a boy, but Gwen wants Tom. I compromised if we have a girl we call her Ygraine. Gwen was happier with Ygraine then Uther." Arthur replied.

"If I was Gwen I wouldn't be calling my son Uther either. Poor child will grow up with a complex." Morgana replied, after she stopped singing and dancing. That was when Gaius came out of the room.

"Arthur, you have twins. A boy and a girl. What is in the water on that island you four went to?" Gaius commented irritably, as he walked back into the room muttered about multiple births that really should be possible. Arthur blinked, and then looked at Morgana and Merlin, then he promptly fainted dead away.

"I think your plan worked a little too well." Merlin replied.

"Well at least with two children it doesn't matter if they get time to make anymore." Morgana replied cheerfully as she practically skipped off down the corridor singing. "I'm an Auntie. I'm an Auntie. I'm an Auntie." The rest of the group stayed in silence, hoping the shock of twins hadn't just killed Arthur.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Okay, this was total and complete crack. But I'm hoping it was at least moderately funny. Please R&R and let me know what you all think. I'll be updating as soon as I think of something else to write for this. LOL!


	8. Everyone

Okay so here is another piece of crack for you all to laugh at. I hope you enjoy it.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

That Awkward Moment When...

Everyone Realises That The Guards Are Useless.

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It had been a long week in Camelot. On Monday, a rogue evil sorcerer had managed to sneak into Camelot and tried to kill Tom and Ygraine, hoping to get rid of the Camelot heirs to the throne, but little Gaius and Evangeline had stopped him by using magic to tie him up with pink ropes. How the ropes became pink, no one knew, but they were indeed pink.

On Tuesday a servant tried to poison Arthur because her uncle's father's brother had been killed by Uther during the Great Purge and she apparently wanted revenge. Morgana had managed to stop her because of her evil senses tingling. Apparently, according to Morgana, if something evil is happening in Camelot Morgana knows all about it, because she used to be evil. Gwaine argued she still was evil, and found himself dressed in a pretty pink dress with frills and his hair tied into pigtails with pink ribbons. The triplets, Vivienne, Balinor and Will, had decided to defend their mother's honour. Gwaine was still whining about it, and it was now Monday again.

On Wednesday, a magical creature managed to get into the castle, wrecking a total of seven chandeliers, fifty one old portraits, three hundred and forty two candelabras (who knew there were so many in Camelot in the first place) and eighty seven chairs. Not to mention the plates, goblets and trays that had been destroyed at the feast they were having at the time. Morgana and Gwen had both been very unhappy with this. It was their favourite dinner ware apparently. Morgana zapped the magical creature, which Gaius found out was a Hormundiskulus (not really because no one remembered what it was called after Morgana had zapped it anyways, not even Gaius), and then they had carried on the feast. After all, you don't have a feast without extra trays of food in the kitchen.

On Thursday, some rogue sorceress managed to get into the castle by pretending to be a servant and tried to cast a magic lover spell on Merlin. She had heard the stories about Merlin and Morgana's god like offspring and she wanted some for herself. Of course Morgana was absolutely furious. It had taken Merlin's magic to stop the sorceress, because Morgana was so angry that her magic started acting haywire, and Merlin didn't want to have to clean up after another emotional storm outbreak.

On Friday, an evil witch managed to get past the guards, sneak into the dungeons, and into the vaults, looking for some magical treasure. It was Merlin who had seen her and used hi magic to subdue her.

On Saturday, Morgana and Gwen were out for a horse ride with their own personal guard, when a bunch of bandits attacked, thinking Morgana and Gwen would be good captives for a ransom. Of course Gwen and Morgana just beat them up and sent them on their way. Those bandits found out that Gwen and Morgana were certainly not shrinking violets. The guards had all been knocked out.

On Sunday, some crazy woman had tried to steal Prince Tom and Princess Ygraine from the cribs, claiming they would cause the end of the world. It was again, little Gaius and Evangeline who saved the day by making a magical cage out of the toys in the room.

Now it was Monday again, and Arthur only had one questions for his Knights and Merlin, and Morgana and Gwen and Gaius.

"Where the hell were all my guards when this was going on?" Arthur yelled angrily.

"I don't know. Wherever they usually are when things go on. Haven't you noticed they don't do anything? They sleep on the job, run around looking at maidservants. This has got to stop." Morgana stated.

"What? They weren't always this bad when my Father was alive." Arthur stated.

"Of course they were. If they had been any lazier, they would have laid down and died while Uther ruled Camelot. Somehow, they had managed to survive Uther's reign and were still around for Arthur's.

"So you're telling me that the guards, every sngle one of them, are useless?" Arthur asked. Morgana shrugged and flopped into a chair, looking irritable.

"I've been telling you and Uther for years that the guards were useless. Would he listen? No! He just had to be the one who's right all the time." Morgana replied. Gwen nodded her agreement.

"It's true. Uther would never listen when Morgana told him the guards were useless." Gwen replied. Arthur sighed as Gwen and Morgana started talking about how they had managed to be kidnapped, that one time where Gwen had been taken to a castle by that Hengist and his men. Arthur sighed again and agreed to at least look over the guards and retire the ones that were useless. After all, they needed a break sometimes.

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Okay this was short and sweet. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please R&R and let me know what you think and I'll update soon hopefully.


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